I am so close to my next goal! Maybe 1 day away... maybe not! All depends on how the body wants to treat me this week. But I am so glad that after the small gain of last week, I am back on track losing. Over four pounds this week, yay me!
This week starts my new job, tomorrow actually. I am looking forward to it. Hopefully, I will sleep well at the kids' house.
Yesterday, I baked over 20 dozen cookies. That's more than 240 cookies people! I was exhausted and my back and knees hurt by the time I was done. It took me eleven hours. I've already started planning my next cookie escapade. But maybe a smaller one.
I need to go have a protein shake now.
Monday, October 26, 2015
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Addictions
Prior to surgery, I was addicted to sugar and to overeating. I knew I was addicted, but I was unable to stop myself. It embarrasses me now to think about some of the things I ate. I sought that feeling of being stuffed, but not quite sick. On more than one occasion, as my heart pounded from the sugar rush, I though that I was killing myself and would have a heart attack or diabetes soon.
I still think about sugar, but not about overeating so much. I miss sugar. I want sugar. I don't think that will ever go away. I will have to be strong the rest of my life to make sure I don't fall back into that trap. I hope I dump if I eat too much sugar. I don't know that I will, but I'm not willing to test it at this point to find out.
The Holidays are coming. I dread the appearance of the usual family favorites. The traditional foods that we have as far back as I can remember. Will I stay strong in the face of my grandma's White Velvet Cookies, Lebkuchen Cookies, and Pumpkin White Chip Bars? Time will tell. Notice it is only the sweets I worry about? I have a problem with them.
Whereas I am worried about the family favorites, new recipes, and baking itself doesn't phase me at all. In fact, I'm pretty sure my replacement addiction is recipes and baking. I thought I would splurge on clothes or something of that nature. But no, I can't seem to stop baking. I get antsy for it. My husband's work, my nephews, church, and the 6 soldiers I sent baked good boxes to this month no doubt thank me.
I think I must be living vicariously through all these other people. If I can't have sugar, at least sugar can make someone happy. Good thing I have only been baking for my family about once a month and focusing on the other people. Mainly the soldiers really, because I only bake for church once a month too. And each soldier only gets one care package, then I get a new name to bake for. So I'm not hurting anyone with all this baking, right?
To reassure myself (without having to taste) that I am not making something crappy. I've only been using recipes that already have reviews. Or recipes that I've made before, but are not a family tradition. The higher rated and the more reviews the better. And I read all the reviews for recipe changes that are suggested my multiple people. Even if there are over 500 reviews, I read them all.
My Pinterest dessert board has exploded. On another website I use, I have over 800 saved recipes. My favorites has over another 100 recipes bookmarked before I decided to use Pinterest to keep track of them. I already have planned out what I am making for the next three soldier boxes, my husband's work next week, and the next two times we are cooking for church. So, yes, I think I am obsessed. Or is that addicted?
I still think about sugar, but not about overeating so much. I miss sugar. I want sugar. I don't think that will ever go away. I will have to be strong the rest of my life to make sure I don't fall back into that trap. I hope I dump if I eat too much sugar. I don't know that I will, but I'm not willing to test it at this point to find out.
The Holidays are coming. I dread the appearance of the usual family favorites. The traditional foods that we have as far back as I can remember. Will I stay strong in the face of my grandma's White Velvet Cookies, Lebkuchen Cookies, and Pumpkin White Chip Bars? Time will tell. Notice it is only the sweets I worry about? I have a problem with them.
Whereas I am worried about the family favorites, new recipes, and baking itself doesn't phase me at all. In fact, I'm pretty sure my replacement addiction is recipes and baking. I thought I would splurge on clothes or something of that nature. But no, I can't seem to stop baking. I get antsy for it. My husband's work, my nephews, church, and the 6 soldiers I sent baked good boxes to this month no doubt thank me.
I think I must be living vicariously through all these other people. If I can't have sugar, at least sugar can make someone happy. Good thing I have only been baking for my family about once a month and focusing on the other people. Mainly the soldiers really, because I only bake for church once a month too. And each soldier only gets one care package, then I get a new name to bake for. So I'm not hurting anyone with all this baking, right?
To reassure myself (without having to taste) that I am not making something crappy. I've only been using recipes that already have reviews. Or recipes that I've made before, but are not a family tradition. The higher rated and the more reviews the better. And I read all the reviews for recipe changes that are suggested my multiple people. Even if there are over 500 reviews, I read them all.
My Pinterest dessert board has exploded. On another website I use, I have over 800 saved recipes. My favorites has over another 100 recipes bookmarked before I decided to use Pinterest to keep track of them. I already have planned out what I am making for the next three soldier boxes, my husband's work next week, and the next two times we are cooking for church. So, yes, I think I am obsessed. Or is that addicted?
Monday, October 19, 2015
My First Gain
It is only 7AM and so far this is the worse Monday in a long time. I've gained weight. 0.8 lbs. I can handle plateaus but gaining? This is not supposed to happen.
This week I should have my period. And my protein has been low for the past 3-4 days. We've been eating a lot of convenience foods due to lack of time. Canned Turkey Chili, Turkey hot dogs etc. They just don't have as much protein in them, but they do have more sodium. So I am going to attribute the gain to both of those.
So I am going to amp it up this week. Uberprotein, more walking than usual, making sure I am getting at least 8 cups of liquid a day. I can do this. With God all things are possible.
This week I should have my period. And my protein has been low for the past 3-4 days. We've been eating a lot of convenience foods due to lack of time. Canned Turkey Chili, Turkey hot dogs etc. They just don't have as much protein in them, but they do have more sodium. So I am going to attribute the gain to both of those.
So I am going to amp it up this week. Uberprotein, more walking than usual, making sure I am getting at least 8 cups of liquid a day. I can do this. With God all things are possible.
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
It's a God thing
I've got a job! That can be good and bad right ;) But, I am excited!
I have been at home since January 2015, by choice. Due to circumstances, my full time, 40 hour a week job, had me down to one day a week and usually not even a full day because there just wasn't enough to do.
I felt like I was wasting time and resources by going in most of the time. So I voluntarily quit. My husband makes enough to support us on just his income, although there isn't a lot of extra.
I enjoyed my spring and summer. It made adjusting to surgery and my new life easier. It made it easier to exercise and spend time with family. But I was starting to feel like, if I would just get a part time job, we could pay off these medical bills so much faster. And pretty much our "little bit of extra" was eaten up each month by those bills.
My husband, he's such a dear, he keeps telling me I don't have to get a job. We made an agreement that once either the house or the credit cards were paid off that I could stay home if I wanted. We paid off all of our credit card debt in Dec 2013. It was a glorious feeling! (We should have the house paid off in 3 more years!)
Anyway, we have a vacation planned (and paid for) for later this year, and I was thinking who is going to hire me knowing I need a chunk time off so soon? I told my husband that this was the first vacation we would have in 5-6 years, so I wasn't going to do anything that made us have to cancel it. We are both so looking forward to it. So I thought maybe I could pick up a little money until after the vacation by babysitting through Care.com.
I applied to several one-time jobs, short term jobs, and part or full-time jobs that didn't start until after our vacation. But no luck. Although I did land a pet-sitting job that is over Christmas week, but that didn't really help me now in September/October.
Then on Sunday, I saw this job that was looking for overnight help starting now. It is for a single parent in the medical profession and is third shift 7 days on, 7 days off. One of the children is autistic and the ad stated it would be good if person that was hired has special needs experience. One of my nephews is autistic. I thought maybe I should apply. Then I had second and third thoughts, because 7 nights straight away from my own bed and again, the vacation. But I just kept thinking I should apply.
So I did, I was up front explaining that I would be unavailable a certain week, but if I was considered for the position I could work out future happenings around the work schedule. I also said that I didn't have professional special needs experience, but I do frequently babysit for my nephews, one of whom is autistic.
Later that day, I got a message back about the job. Earlier in the afternoon I had just setup an interview for another job from a family that actually reached out to me. So I had all sorts of anxiety about the interviews and what if they both want me, who do I go with. All sorts of scenarios. Because that is the kind of person I am. Try to map every possibility out and cause myself all sorts of anxiety. Ugh.
Finally, I prayed about it and tried to let it go. I asked that God make it clear where he wanted me and if I wasn't supposed to have either job then that was okay too. I felt better. We emailed back and forth a couple times. I had an interview setup to today and an interview setup for Saturday.
Then Tuesday morning, the second family, with the interview on Saturday, let me know that they had decided to go with someone else. At first I was bummed, I felt like I had been rejected. But they hadn't even met me, so really I can't take it personally. They just liked someone else's job experience/qualifications better because from what I understood no interviews were being held until Saturday due to the parents' work schedules.
So that left me with the Wednesday interview for the overnight position. I went today, nervous of course, but hopeful. It was immediately clear that the interview was a more of a "get to know you" interview rather than a "will you work out for us" type interview. I was told that more than once that the person had been praying about what to do and it was such a relief when I applied after the string of college girls that had been hired before me. How it would be so nice that I only lived ten minutes away. We talked for a hour and twenty minutes about the children and ourselves. There is a possibility that the schedule could be changing in the future so it won't be so hard on either of us. The week I can't work is one of the off weeks, so it works out perfectly. We setup a time/day for my first night.
I feel like this must be a God thing. We both prayed about it. We are both just what the other needs. I am really looking forward to this.
I have been at home since January 2015, by choice. Due to circumstances, my full time, 40 hour a week job, had me down to one day a week and usually not even a full day because there just wasn't enough to do.
I felt like I was wasting time and resources by going in most of the time. So I voluntarily quit. My husband makes enough to support us on just his income, although there isn't a lot of extra.
I enjoyed my spring and summer. It made adjusting to surgery and my new life easier. It made it easier to exercise and spend time with family. But I was starting to feel like, if I would just get a part time job, we could pay off these medical bills so much faster. And pretty much our "little bit of extra" was eaten up each month by those bills.
My husband, he's such a dear, he keeps telling me I don't have to get a job. We made an agreement that once either the house or the credit cards were paid off that I could stay home if I wanted. We paid off all of our credit card debt in Dec 2013. It was a glorious feeling! (We should have the house paid off in 3 more years!)
Anyway, we have a vacation planned (and paid for) for later this year, and I was thinking who is going to hire me knowing I need a chunk time off so soon? I told my husband that this was the first vacation we would have in 5-6 years, so I wasn't going to do anything that made us have to cancel it. We are both so looking forward to it. So I thought maybe I could pick up a little money until after the vacation by babysitting through Care.com.
I applied to several one-time jobs, short term jobs, and part or full-time jobs that didn't start until after our vacation. But no luck. Although I did land a pet-sitting job that is over Christmas week, but that didn't really help me now in September/October.
Then on Sunday, I saw this job that was looking for overnight help starting now. It is for a single parent in the medical profession and is third shift 7 days on, 7 days off. One of the children is autistic and the ad stated it would be good if person that was hired has special needs experience. One of my nephews is autistic. I thought maybe I should apply. Then I had second and third thoughts, because 7 nights straight away from my own bed and again, the vacation. But I just kept thinking I should apply.
So I did, I was up front explaining that I would be unavailable a certain week, but if I was considered for the position I could work out future happenings around the work schedule. I also said that I didn't have professional special needs experience, but I do frequently babysit for my nephews, one of whom is autistic.
Later that day, I got a message back about the job. Earlier in the afternoon I had just setup an interview for another job from a family that actually reached out to me. So I had all sorts of anxiety about the interviews and what if they both want me, who do I go with. All sorts of scenarios. Because that is the kind of person I am. Try to map every possibility out and cause myself all sorts of anxiety. Ugh.
Finally, I prayed about it and tried to let it go. I asked that God make it clear where he wanted me and if I wasn't supposed to have either job then that was okay too. I felt better. We emailed back and forth a couple times. I had an interview setup to today and an interview setup for Saturday.
Then Tuesday morning, the second family, with the interview on Saturday, let me know that they had decided to go with someone else. At first I was bummed, I felt like I had been rejected. But they hadn't even met me, so really I can't take it personally. They just liked someone else's job experience/qualifications better because from what I understood no interviews were being held until Saturday due to the parents' work schedules.
So that left me with the Wednesday interview for the overnight position. I went today, nervous of course, but hopeful. It was immediately clear that the interview was a more of a "get to know you" interview rather than a "will you work out for us" type interview. I was told that more than once that the person had been praying about what to do and it was such a relief when I applied after the string of college girls that had been hired before me. How it would be so nice that I only lived ten minutes away. We talked for a hour and twenty minutes about the children and ourselves. There is a possibility that the schedule could be changing in the future so it won't be so hard on either of us. The week I can't work is one of the off weeks, so it works out perfectly. We setup a time/day for my first night.
I feel like this must be a God thing. We both prayed about it. We are both just what the other needs. I am really looking forward to this.
Monday, October 12, 2015
Inches
I am so excited to be losing inches!
Since the day of surgery, I have lost...
Bust: 7 inches
Waist: 9.25 inches
Hips: 8 inches
Arms: 1.5 inches
Thighs: 4.5 inches
Amazing, yes?! My 30 jeans are starting to feel loose. I expect in the next 3-4 weeks I will be in a size 28. That size is available in stores, isn't it? I have 3 pairs of size 26 pants, but no 28s. I may need another trip to Savers and Goodwill to see if I can find at least one 28.
When I started my waist was bigger than my bust. Not anymore! I have always lamented that even though I am overweight, I don't have a big chest. And with my waist and hips being bigger than my waist, I was definitely a pear shaped person. Maybe someday I could be a bit more hourglass shaped. I don't think I need to consider my hips ever being small though!
And for a little more good news, I have two job interviews this week!
Since the day of surgery, I have lost...
Bust: 7 inches
Waist: 9.25 inches
Hips: 8 inches
Arms: 1.5 inches
Thighs: 4.5 inches
Amazing, yes?! My 30 jeans are starting to feel loose. I expect in the next 3-4 weeks I will be in a size 28. That size is available in stores, isn't it? I have 3 pairs of size 26 pants, but no 28s. I may need another trip to Savers and Goodwill to see if I can find at least one 28.
When I started my waist was bigger than my bust. Not anymore! I have always lamented that even though I am overweight, I don't have a big chest. And with my waist and hips being bigger than my waist, I was definitely a pear shaped person. Maybe someday I could be a bit more hourglass shaped. I don't think I need to consider my hips ever being small though!
And for a little more good news, I have two job interviews this week!
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
Support Group Depression
I really look forward to and enjoy going to support group. Everyone there has either had a gastric bypass/sleeve or is planning to do so in the near future, It is nice to here new food ideas and have other people be able to relate to what I am going through. The doctor that did my RNY is almost always there as well as the dietitian and sometimes even the psychologist that they recommend people see for their pre-op visit. Usually there is a guest speaker. Last night, a pharmacist talked to us about medications. How they can change after surgery and which ones should no longer be taken at all due to our changed anatomy.
And then sometimes, I think if there isn't enough questions to last the whole 2 hour meeting, they have us go around the room introducing ourselves and stating when surgery was and how much we lost. Everyone gets clapped for. of course. But I hate it. All I hear is that the other people that had surgery about the same time as me have lost so much more weight. It gets me down every time. It is a seriously mood altering experience. I know I am losing slow. My body is fighting me despite sticking to the food plan. Despite exercise. Someone on FB was told by her doctor that she could be losing slower due to having PCOS. I have that, so maybe that is it. In any case, I just hate it.
And then sometimes, I think if there isn't enough questions to last the whole 2 hour meeting, they have us go around the room introducing ourselves and stating when surgery was and how much we lost. Everyone gets clapped for. of course. But I hate it. All I hear is that the other people that had surgery about the same time as me have lost so much more weight. It gets me down every time. It is a seriously mood altering experience. I know I am losing slow. My body is fighting me despite sticking to the food plan. Despite exercise. Someone on FB was told by her doctor that she could be losing slower due to having PCOS. I have that, so maybe that is it. In any case, I just hate it.
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