Creeping Progress

I am creeping towards 100 lbs lost.  Today, I have lost 90 lbs total.  That is since the start of this process in January.  I am excited to be able to say that.  My hubby reached 100 lb point over a month ago, but of course he is a guy and he had more to lose.  But it will feel good when I can say that too.  I am hoping to reach it by the end of October.  It seems I am averaging just over 10 lbs a month, so that should be a good estimate.

I can't even imagine strapping 100 lbs to myself and trying to walk around all day.  How was I able to do that?  How is anyone?

Last week, I opened the last box of "too small" clothing that was stashed away in the back of the closet.  I was able to fish a few pieces out that are comfortable to wear now.  But for the most part I need to lose another size or two for most of it to fit right.  Still, I'm getting there.  Once I've gone through the box... then new clothes will have to be bought.  I do like to shop, it will be a novelty to be able to buy all the items I need in a store instead of online.

Visually, I admit, I can't see a big difference.  There are little clues obviously.  And I have gone from a size 36 jeans to a size 30.  (BTW: How is 90 lbs only a 3 pant size difference?!?)  I can't deny I'm shrinking.  When I look in the mirror, I just see the same fat me.  I will probably always have body image issues.  You can't instantly change something that has been going on for 30 years, I'm not sure I can ever change it.

And seriously, what is up with my hips and butt?  If they don't start shrinking more soon I am going to be one of those woman with a little waist and hips/butt the size of a Mack truck.  You've seen the pictures online, you know what I mean.  Stupid body, I want to wear smaller pants.  Get with it already!

The end of October will also be the six month mark for my RNY surgery.  I will post new photos of myself at that time.  You can be the judge of my visual weight loss progress.

Poor Fitting Bras

I hate how hard it is to get an affordable good fitting bra right now.  Plus, everything sags as I lose weight, is it too much to ask for something with a little lift?  I've got wrinkly cups or tight cups.  My husband said to me the other day that I looked happy to see him.  I told him that no, it was just my bra.

I can't spend a lot because I won't be in any one size too long.  I found some older bras in my box of clothing that doesn't quite fit.  So I am wearing them.  4 sizes smaller than when I had surgery.  One of them is 5 sizes smaller, and hurts after a day of wearing it.  But I am using that one too.  I can't be too picky right now.

Bringing Back the Negativity

I am still eternally frustrated with my weight loss.  I exercised too hard at the end of the week and ended up gaining almost a whole pound back.  What could have been 3.5+ lbs lost this week turned into only 2.6 lbs lost.  Bummer.  If I really only have the first 9 months after surgery to maximize my weight loss, then I am sucking at it.  I might get down to about 220 lbs by the 9 month mark, if I'm lucky.

Going Down a Size

I could not find any size 30 jeans.  I tried retail stores and I tried Savers and Goodwill.  But, based on the looseness of my 32s and the number of inches I lost in the past month, I am going to officially say I am down to size 30 jeans.

At Savers, I did find a pair of 26 jeans and a pair of 26/28 elastic waist stretch jeans.  I am not thrilled with elastic stretch jeans, but I figure by the time I can wear them, I will really need to be getting rid of the 32s.  I did try both pairs on, because why not?  I can successfully get them on if I squeeze, squeeze, squeeze and then don't mind the feeling of being eaten by a boa constrictor.  So yes, not ready to wear them yet.  But I did not have to lay down to zip the zipper pair, so yay me!  I really couldn't pass up the jeans at Savers.  Even if they don't fit yet, better to spend $5.00-$7.00 a pair then to spend $30.00+ a pair.

Exercising isn't Working

I seem to be losing more weight on the weeks where I do not do as much exercise.  This is the opposite of everything I've read and been told.  The more I exercise, the more calories I should expend and hence the more weight I should lose.  The more I exercise, the more muscle I should have.  The more muscle I have, the more fat I should burn.  Why is this not working?

Yesterday, I took 14,438 steps total, or 6.3 miles.  That included a Zumba class, walking over a mile for exercise, shopping at two grocery stores, and then my usual day to day walking.  According to Garmin Connect, I burned 689 calories through my activity, I only consumed 660 calories, and my total calorie burn plus BMR, including the ones I am burning just by typing this, was 3,314.  Just shy of 3,500, that is almost a pound of calories burned.

So I should have lost like a pound when I weighed myself this morning, right?  No.  I gained weight.  What?

I feel like the week was going great, I was close to already losing 3.5 lbs and I still had three mornings until official weigh-in.  Yesterday, was the first day I managed to get to my goal of 10,000 steps because it has been a busy week.  I felt like I had this week in the bag.  Now, I don't know.

Hair Loss

I am losing so much hair that I am starting to wonder if I can rock a pixie cut.  I guess worse comes to worse I could buy a wig.

I just bought Nioxin shampoo and conditioner.  It is suppose to help strengthen and regrow hair.  Used it for the first time today, and I may not see results for a month.

My hair may not have a month.  :(

Hubby said I could shave my head.  I think that with the weight loss people would assume I have cancer.  And I really don't want to go that far anyway,

Clothing and Weight Loss

I've been losing 10-15 lbs a month since surgery.  Usually right around 12 lbs.  It's great, part of me is jumping up and down at the thought that by the end of the year I will be less than 250 lbs.  But another small part, is still wondering why it isn't more.  Le Sigh.

I bought a shirt and a fall/early winter jacket for my last goal.  I forgot to say anything about it.  The shirt is a little snug about the hips though even though it is a 3x.  I was just telling my husband that I thought I would be getting to a 2x soon... and here a 3x is snug on me.  He said that between cost cutting and fashion being to show off a woman's body that sizes are a little smaller now than they used to be.  I would agree with that.  I have no interest in moo-moos so if I want something more fit to my body, I will have to stay with a larger size longer.  That is kind of disappointing.  But I guess that means I won't have to get rid of clothes as fast.

I pulled a box out of the closet labeled "My almost there clothes."  I labeled it that a couple years ago when I was on Weight Watcher's and managed to get close to 300 lbs.  I tried on almost everything in it over the weekend.  I skipped the panty hose.  All but two outfits fit me.  I am excited by that.  It means I've added 7 pants and about 10 shirts to my wardrobe.  Now, I don't have enough drawer space!  I went through my drawers and found only 3 shirts to get rid of.  In my closet I found, 6 pairs of pants and 2 skirts.  I might be able to get rid of some more shirts soon, both the fold and hang variety, but it is kind of hard to let them go.  I really like some of these shirts and I can't afford to replace them.

I keep thinking I need to make a trip to GoodWill.  Not so much for a bunch of new clothes since my own closet just provided that, but because I want to see if I can find a pair of jeans in a size 30.  I think I am probably getting close to going down a size.  I don't mind wearing my 32s until they are baggy like I did with the 36s, but I do want to know when I can successfully fit into a size 30.  It has been so long since I shopped for pants in a store, that I don't even know if they carry 30s.  It used to be that they only went up to 28s in the store.   I guess I will have to try Walmart.

Anyway, here are the shirt and jacket.